Pre Bone Marrow

Everything is lined up. We have a bone marrow transplant coordinator named Suzanne and Ash is all set to begin this lengthy, breathtaking process. I have signed off on Ashton’s excess blood, marrow, tissue to be used for research. I’ve done that twice actually. I don’t see any reason not to have it out there … [Read more…]

On-Line Diary

A blog. I had one many years ago but it was pretty empty. You have to really care about your subject matter. You have to not really care about what people think. You have to be ok with typos. I do not ever edit this blog, as you can see. When I was an actual … [Read more…]

Jail Break

Nearing COO-COO status yesterday when I got the word that someone was coming to spring me. Man, I had to get out of there for a minute. I always regret feeling that way. I worry about feeling that way because Ashton CAN’T leave. Looking at him, you would think he could. He’s not on fluids … [Read more…]

Applause For Nurses

Really, except for a few things which cannot be helped (ok, minus one when I just wouldn’t have liked her under any circumstance) One in 4 months. I truly love nurses. All shapes, sizes and gender. A nurse friend in Chicago area says that Moms of sick kids are crazy. I can see that. I … [Read more…]

A Short Reunion

After a very long period of strife between Ashton’s Daddy and  me, a long period of back and forth, on and off, I love you, I hate you, he came to my door and I was not very willing to let him in. I did, though, because he is the father of my child. Some … [Read more…]

In The Beginning

This is meant to be a sort of train-of -thought exercise about Ashton’s earlier years. I want to start putting together a memoir of this time and it needs a beginning: like, how did he get here? I was content with two children at the age of 34.  Totally content. I was using birth control … [Read more…]

Fine. I admit It.

. I told our main oncologist yesterday that I agreed to talk to a psychologist. I did talk to two in Dayton Children’s, but I felt I was just humoring them so they could feel like they were helping me. Sort of like me validating their expertise in making people feel “better” about Cancer. I … [Read more…]

The Sweetest Thing

I’m watching Ashton have “school” for the first time in many months. He’s so in to it.  He is HUNGRY for this. The teacher said her material was too easy for him, which doesn’t surprise me. He has retained a lot more than I thought and reading seems to come naturally for him. Due to … [Read more…]