62 Days

I don’t want to do this anymore without you.  I want back every second I was selfish. Every moment I did not spend with you.

I think I am entering a new phase.

Bargaining.

Cause apparently I have been pretty angry lately. And it shows.

I’m starting today to make deals. What do I have to do to get you back?

I feel like I can settle for nothing less than your return.  I want to cut out my own heart it hurts so badly.

I have heard that you would want me to keep living and live a good life. Ashton.

I was remembering today how you would say, “oh MIMI! You are so BEAUTIFUL!”

I can’t. I am wanting to bargain. But I have nothing to bargain with. I’m empty-handed.

This is true hopelessness. True helplessness.

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