The Easter Bunny came super freakin’ early, man. Our room is so full, we had a hard time finding the basket he/she left for Ashton. ( IS the Bunny a he or a she? Does it matter?) Good Lord, I need some sleep and relief from these four walls.
Ashton has been using the computer this morning and he is napping and receiving platelets as I type this (count of ten this morning) His hair is on the keyboard.
We preemptively shaved his head partially and kept it real short on top as he has SO much thick hair it was beginning to be a hindrance falling out ten strands at a time. He has bald patches now since yesterday and I will be very honest and say I am relieved to be here every day so that the transformation isn’t such a terrible shock. I feel for those who have not seen him yet or in a couple of weeks. How is it that hair defines us so deeply? Because we allow it to, I suppose.
He continues to run very high fevers. Generally he spikes one as soon as my support team leaves. (Mom and Nonni). Go Team! Last night I went a little berserk as everything was beeping and he was at 106 AGAIN and no one was responding. SO after pressing the call button three times I yelled, “Is this NOT a medical facility? Good. Then we need some medical ATTENTION.”
I’m sure I am not the first Mom to lose it. Actually, I was told yesterday that lots of parents just drop their kids here and go about their lives. Apparently, I am up for some award for sleeping in his bed every night. I can’t see doing it any other way.
Speaking of sleeping here: early this morning, the beeping starting. I guess we are sort of used to it now. We can sleep though it for a short time. This morning, however, during the beeping, I dreamt a very real dream. I was completely disassembling “Beeper”. I removed his batteries, un-plugged him. I took him apart in total until he was nothing but a naked, silver pole on wheels. And he was still beeping. I fear for my mind.
When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
Well, I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up