Well, We Keep On.

Last night was a “good night”.

Fever all night, however, it was comparatively low-grade. 105- 106 being a norm, we had more of a 102 grade controlled with Tylenol and a cooling blanket. The cooling blanket is pretty COOL. It’s a loud contraption with cold water running through it and I laid on it half the night with him shivering so I can attest to it’s coolness. But, it does the trick.

I’m laying off Facebook for awhile, as some may have read. Photos seem to bother people.

Here’s what I think: other people may someday benefit from our honesty both on this blog and Facebook. I have mentioned my friend , Katherine, who gained much support on-line and still does with her child being nearly Ashton’s age. I know another friend whose child has cancer and she utilizes on-line support, as well. To be honest, I feel more alone today while not posting on FB. Maybe that’s more of a personal issue I need to explore. That being said, I do not have a lot of free time to go friend-huntin’ here in Dayton. So, my tried and true FB friends have been very dear to me. I am a bit surprised by a couple of people who I would have NEVER thought would send gifts, cards, treats, well-wishes, phone calls and also by those I have heard nothing from whom I thought would have been on the front lines.

It’s a situation where we have an infectious disease specialist coming in today for a boy with cancer who is not really getting better. I am alarmed that children/people all over really do die from complications. I am alarmed at all of this. Every single thing this child endures alarms me.

I am amazed by Ashton. I am amazed by Lily. I am amazed by Blaise. I also feel I am failing all three because I am not Super Mom. I bought an Avengers Tee in order to up my Super-Mom rep.

Basically, I’m a single mother. These are crazy circumstances for being single. There are things you share with a husband, a father of a sick child that no one else could grasp.

There are also family issues which existed before diagnosis and said diagnosis has made things worse.

I am grateful for many kindnesses, new hair, low fever, wonderful staff, a new day and family.

So, now I’m going to order a trampoline for my kids. Now. And we are going to have a beautiful yard with flowers and vegetables!

2 Comments

  1. Meredith

    Oh, you *ARE* a Super Mom, Erin. Regardless of how you may feel, your *actions* and words are proof of it (and even superheroes have things like Kryptonite). I’ve kept watch on your FB posts, and will miss them if/while they stop, but we will come here instead. You are a thoughtful writer, and it’s key that you are reminded of how many are cheering you and Ashton on. I wish there was a way that sending positive wishes and prayers was “enough” and could be tallied like a score card. If that were the case, as another friend of yours inferred, Ashton would already be well again. Sending all good thoughts… xo

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